September has always been a monumental month for me. Not on some emo type of stuff, but like literally. I was born eons ago, on this very month and as cheesy as it sounds, every September has been the same. I spend the beginning of it writing down my goals for the rest of the year and then I live out each day with very specific motives-- to accomplish
those goals. Instead of starting the New Year off with resolutions, I try to go into the New Year already as my better self, that way my first step is with my strongest glide.
With the holidays quickly approaching, I find that it's important that I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for everything that is about to happen. Sometimes when you don't prepare yourself for what is to come, you miss out on cherishing the moments you think you never have
. I call this time of reflection and renewal my 3 Month Reset, and I give myself twelve weeks to reintroduce myself to who I am. I've gotten quite a few questions about this process throughout the years -- by those who see my journal and are fascinated by it's diligent display of thoughts, so I decided to break it all down for those of you wanting to dedicate three months to resetting your life and to finding inner peace
. The first step is to purchase a journal of your choice (I prefer this
notebook) & to grab a pen and some highlighters that you love so that you can have all of the tools necessary to creating your roadmap. With four days left in the week, you have plenty of time to purchase your tools for a fresh start on Sunday. After these 12 weeks, you'll be amazed at how much you'll learn about yourself! And when things get tough you'll find that you'll have something to reflect on, on the inside. I hope that this is helpful to some, and that it is considered by many. Each number listed below represents a week. Spend one week working on each assignment and be thorough and have fun with it! But if you agree to take on this project, it is very important that you be open and honest with the most important person, and that is, yourself!
1 MAP OUT YOUR GOALS FOR SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER:
Map out ALL of the goals that you'd like to accomplish before the year ends. This includes health goals, mental goals, financial goals, educational goals, personal goals, spiritual goals, short term, long term, small goals, big goals --- as long as it is a goal for the remainder of the year, jot it down. This will help guide you to where you need to go for the next twelve weeks and the more things you write down the more likely you will revisit your book. But keep it as simple as you can because goals that are too wordy, ironically get neglected and overlooked.2 UNPLUG FROM SOCIAL NETWORKS & SUBTRACT ALL THINGS THAT AREN'T ADDING VALUE TO YOUR LIFE:
That's right, spend at least one month, unplugged from social media. You don't have to neglect it all, but it is important that you be able to consume yourself with you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the lives of others that we forget about our own. Ask yourself, "When I die -- will I remember more about them or more about me?", "Will I have spent as much time with myself as I did on their Instagram and Facebook page?". These questions are critical for growth and inner peace. (I typically only keep my Instagram, but deactivate my Facebook & Twitter accounts). Once
most of your social networks are deactivated, dedicate 3 sheets of paper to write down a list of people and things that you want to let go of. Write down why you're letting go and end each statement with "but, I forgive you". This is important so that you can weigh and examine the importance of many things in your life. Perhaps you'll limit your time on the page of others, perhaps you'll only give yourself a one day pass a week to go to your ex's Facebook page. If there are false idols that you subconsciously worship, jot it down and vow to let them go. Give yourself (and God) back your life.3 CREATE YOUR PERFECT HIM:
In week three, the fun begins. The next few pages of your journal will be dedicated to creating your perfect him, but as opposed to focusing on the physical attributes you desire in a man, it's important that you start off this section by answering the following questions: "What would I want 'him' to love about me?", "What would I want 'him' to love about life?", "What would I want 'him' to love more than me?", and then you can move on to the attributes that you're truly looking for in a man. Yes, you may now discuss the physical but it is important that you really consider the importance of it. Once you're done with all of this, number each thing by most important (1) to least important (100) thing to you when it comes to your perfectly imperfect man -- in pencil of course. Then use another blank sheet (fourth page of week three) to set your personal standards. Make a list of personal vows and standards to yourself, and then say I do
. You can't expect to say I do to him, without saying I do, to you first.
Perhaps you'll vow not to have sex on the first date. Perhaps you'll vow to be a friend before trying to be a girlfriend. Perhaps you'll vow not to beg a man for love. Perhaps you'll vow not to look for love, but to let love find you. Write your personal vow to self, and then seal it with a kiss. Yes, put on your favorite lipstick and kiss the page. Fact of the day: The kiss dates back to the earliest days of civilization in Ancient Rome and in the Middle East. A kiss was used as the formal seal to agreements, contracts, etc. Hence, the obvious use of the custom at the end of the wedding ceremony- to "seal" the marriage vows.4 BECOME YOUR OWN OBSESSION:
For the final week of the FOCUS
segment you are to use up 10 pages, yes 10 whole pages, to write down and jot down things that you love
and things about yourself. What are your favorite colors? What do you love the most about yourself? What are your favorite foods? What's something spontaneous that you'd love to do? What's your dream date? What are your petpeevees? What was your most embarrassing moment? 10 pages (or 5 pages back and front) must be filled with the answers of your mind, body, heart and soul! Have fun and get to writing! Here are one
websites that are full of fun and mind boggling questions for you to answer. Consider this a personal interview and the start of your journey to self understanding and love.5 & 6 START TAKING THE INITIATIVE TO TACKLE YOUR GOAL SHEET & SPRING CLEAN ALONG THE WAY:
That's right! Start tackling things on your goal sheet, make the necessary adjustments, and spend each night figuring out how you can become better the following day. An empty mind is the devil's playground, always have something worthwhile to do. Trash old papers, give away old clothes, and dust neglected corners. Sometimes when there is so much going on around us, we lose focus because we're trying to get it all sorted. Sort your surrounding environment so there is room left for you to sort through your mind!7 MANTRA & AFFIRMATION:
Write down your personal mantra. What's the one statement that is basically your motto for every day life? Write down your affirmations. What are positive statements that you believe in and that you promise to live by. Dedicate two pages to listing these things and to explaining why these are the personal statements you agree to live by. Unlike week three where you made vows to how you will handle relationships, you'll use week seven to creating personal statements that you'll say throughout the day. Here are a list
of daily affirmations that'll help you based on the situations that you are in and want to be in and here is a website
that will help you understand and come up with your own personal mantra. Be sure to recite a few of your chosen mantras and affirmations throughout the day. Use as many pages necessary to make a list of some that work for you -- but leave two pages blank in the event that you need to add more.8 HOLIDAY PLAN:
Start making a list of the people that you plan on giving gifts to. Below each, jot down a few gift ideas along with a budget for each person. Be diligent and thoughtful, listen to the small things that your loved ones say that they need to work on or that they need and tailor your gift choices based on those comments and statements that are made. A thoughtful gift doesn't have to be an expensive gift. Also start figuring out where and how you're going to spend your holidays and what you'd like to get out of them. Perhaps you want to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving morning, a tradition my family has shared for the past three years. Or perhaps you want to visit family members you haven't seen since you were a child. Make this holiday season mean more than just tangible gifts and make it a priority to share the gift of love.9 GOAL FOCUS:
It's important that throughout this process we don't lose site of the goals that we are working hard towards. Week nine will be dedicated strictly to accomplishing at least two of the goals on our sheet.10 RELEASE:
Remember that list from week two? It's now time to give it one more read, rip it out, and to let it go (in the ocean if you're dramatic). This is your day to let go of all of the hostility, anger, and frustration you may have been holding in and for you to let your inner self know that you no longer want it to suffer. But don't only forgive those who have hurt you, ask for forgiveness for yourself and forgive yourself. After letting go, use a fresh page to list a few tips that'll help you when negative thoughts try to reconsume you. Although it is important to let go, it is more important not to relapse. The catch? You can only use one page, the front of one page. You no longer will contribute an abundance of anything to
past people or feelings.11 SEND YOURSELF FLOWERS FOR A RANDOM DATE NEXT YEAR & ATTACH A NOTE:
That's right! Save up some money and send yourself flowers for a random date next year. Attached have a note that means something to you -- whether that be one of the mantras or affirmations you found most helpful during your life reset or whether that be something encouraging to tell yourself in the event that you are sad or doubtful, make a statement that matters, to you. You now know yourself enough to know what that
is. But don't schedule that delivery for early 2013, schedule it for this time next year.12 CELEBRATE:
Remember that list of things you love? Now it's time to indulge. Treat yourself to a few things on that list and celebrate your new life! Perhaps you'll go bungie jumping like you've always wanted to or perhaps you'll throw a cooking party at your condo like you've always planned! No it's not your birthday, but it is a time celebrate YOU
. No one can appreciate you like you can, so show yourself a little love. Also, take a vacation and live vicariously through the life of another. Buy a novel about a girl like you -- and finish the year off spending some downtime reading. Books can take you places you may never go and characters can open your eyes to a life you never had. With all of this time spent on yourself, it's now time to spend a little time next to the life of another. A humbling experience that will show you that people aren't always what they seem to be on the outside and that life is full of problems but the purpose of the story is always to push through it and to live happily ever after. A lesson necessary for changing your mindset when you get back to seeing others you may be envious of from time to time. You are the author of your life story and although you had little to no control over the narration of the beginning of it, you now have full control of the way the story goes.
Labels: CHALLENGES, PROJECTS