After hours of being slave to MAC products, hair brushes, flat irons, and our personal wardrobes, the time eventually comes for us to rush off to that event that we have been anxiously anticipating for weeks. We make sure that everything is right — checking our mirrors far more than any other ritual our religions call for and snapping bathroom pics to see how we will turn out when our friends tag us on Instagram at the end of the night. The car drive there also becomes a meticulous process that is carefully adhered to- the AC must be right, so that our curls don’t drop, and our dresses must be placed perfectly on our leather seats so that unpredicted wrinkles don’t randomly enter the cold room with us. It’s that moment of first walking into any party that we cringe having to go through. The first ten minutes of feeling awkward and watched. The first 600 seconds that we are judged and that we too, make judgements of others. And the first 600,000 milliseconds that we scope out the room, find our seats, and figure out our mental map around the room — the girls not to pass and the guys to make sure to pass. But how is one to stand out in a room full of women aiming to be bad ‘looking like a bag of money’? Here’s the Modern Girl’s Guide To Standing Out At Any Social. 9 Easy tips to making a statement while keeping it on the hush. A Modern Girl should never leave home without it. Oh, and for the ultimate reading experience – click the links throughout. Enjoy!

Traditional etiquette would suggest that being late to any event is a sign of disrespect, and I would say that in some instances this is true. It is important to arrive to an event based on the type of event that it is. If a hostess is having a dinner event or one that includes a schedule of events, it’s always best to be on time. Keep in mind that although you don’t have to pay for a party, in which, you are invited to, the Master of Ceremonies, most likely, has invested something to create the ambiance that is shared amongst guests. If the Master of Ceremonies hires a caterer for a particular amount of time and guests arrive late, he/she loses money and their invitation goes in vain. This is a sign of disrespect and gives the hostess the right to no longer invite you to another event. However, if you are invited to a mixer or mingle type social, its okay to be a few minutes late, but use your discretion. Coming late, loud, and intruding on everyone’s conversation can give off a showoff type of vibe. Always remember that the party isn’t about you and that you are merely one of many guests invited. Be respectful, polite, and modest by all means necessary.
Yup, that’s right – don’t wear your highest, wear your most comfortable. A shoe isn’t making a statement when your pinky toe’s cry for mercy is louder. Comfort & Confidence are the most important factors to making a true shoe statement. It’s not shoe game when your big toe is competing with your corn to win. But don’t be discouraged- comfortable doesn’t mean your lowest — you can still be comfortable, trendy, and sexy even in the highest of heels. But if you can’t be all three in your 6″ stilettos opt out of wearing them to a social event. If the shoe doesn’t fit or if you can’t walk around the store with it don’t buy it. Perhaps your Melissa sneakers are the highest heel you’ve ever worn? -moment of silence for those. But I prefer you to be a safe shoe walker than to be someone everyone is prepared to catch. If it’s too high for you, you run the risk of tripping, slipping, or being stared at while galloping across the room. Don’t set yourself up for failure because if there’s an unfortunate mishap, you’ll be tripped up for the rest of the night.
Presentation & professionalism are always key. NEVER leave home without your business cards and always try to have them in something super cute! It’s a girlie twist to what the men are usually carrying and it can definitely set you a part from others. It shows that “I can have a good time while still putting in work/werk” and that “I value my business and I value meeting you”. With business cards and a cute carrying case you’ll probably spend about $40-60. Chump Change in the eyes of a future millionaire ;].
Don’t come starved, leave that for Thanksgiving with those who love (and who won’t judge) you. When you’re hungry, everyone in the room knows. Now I don’t say this to encourage bougieness, I say this merely because we’re animals. Mammals. Omnivores. So when we’re hungry and see food, we sometimes attack it like that poor lifeless zebra in the animal kingdom, kicking it’s little legs for freedom. RIP? Rest In Peace? Pun, Intended? We tear that chicken up, devouring each limb and leaving no piece of meat (even on a microscopic level) on the bone. Only to be taken out of this trans by the finest guy in the room who randomly came over to ask if you could pass the salt. (Oh, and if you’re going to drink, be sociable not sloppy. The drinks and hangover last a few days, the story, pictures, impressions, and memories, last a lifetime).
It’s okay to be haute but it’s not okay to be the hautest. Don’t steal the hostess’s shine — on purpose that is. (I mean, some hostess don’t even try). Dress for the occasion and you won’t look as if you’re trying to step on any toes (in your high heeled Melissa sneakers).
What makes you stand out? What makes you unique? What sets your style apart from others and what defines your style? Whether that be something simple or something extravagant, make sure your look is iconic. The type that identifies -insert your name here- and will make everyone remember you. It can sometimes make for great conversation and remind people of who you are.
Be pumped and ready to attend the social. When your smile is fake, everyone in the room knows it. Don’t let your dry smile crack the vibe of the room. Think of it as a little earthquake, always causing everything to shift from where they originally started from. Someone will be talking to you about their company and you’ll crack that dry smile that’ll automatically cause them to move. If you’re not in the mood to mingle & mix, don’t attend the mingle mixer.
Study these short and simple etiquette guidelines for women. There’s something pristine about a well polished and well groomed woman. Knowing the small things like not putting your elbows on the table will help you stay away from offending someone and will show that you are well rounded and can be respectful. Shallow, I know, but -cues Janet Jackson- “that’s the way love goes”.
And lastly ladies, mind your company. You don’t have to bring the prettiest but you do need to bring someone who matches your internal fly. Body language is everything and bringing someone along who is bored or who doesn’t want to be there can ruin your image or can be attributed to your character. If you’re attending something for business bring someone who you know could work a day in your office in the event that you fell ill. If you don’t trust them with your business, don’t trust them in your business. Networking events are business ventures. You are a representation of you, your company, and/or your brand. If bringing them along is the equivalent to bringing a baby in the stroller with you, opt out of extending the invite. You shouldn’t have to feed, check up, or burp your bestie.

Photo credit: Love the girl above? She’s a young woman making major moves at Vogue.
Inspiring, nonetheless.
See more of her photos and read a few of her commentary here: